Managing holiday stress and expectations can be a real challenge, especially when there's this societal pressure to be constantly happy and cheerful during the season. It's common to feel a range of emotions, and allowing yourself to honor whatever you're feeling—without judgment—can help improve your mental health and overall well-being.
Here are a few approaches to help navigate the holidays while maintaining flexibility with your emotions:
1. Challenge the "I Should Be Happy" Narrative
It's important to recognize that the holidays don't need to be a time of constant joy for everyone. This cultural expectation can add pressure and make feelings of sadness, anxiety, or frustration feel even heavier.
Reality check: The truth is that emotions are fluid, and you’re allowed to experience them all—joy, sorrow, anxiety, gratitude, or even indifference. You don’t need to force yourself to feel a certain way to meet societal expectations.
Instead of thinking, “I should be happy,” try rephrasing it as, “It’s okay for me to feel however I feel right now.”
2. Practice Self-Validation
Self-validation means acknowledging and accepting your emotions without judgment or criticism. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling without telling yourself that it’s wrong or that you need to change it.
When you feel a shift in your emotions, pause and check in with yourself. Ask, What do I need right now? and How can I care for myself in this moment?
Be kind to yourself by recognizing that emotions are temporary, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed or not in the “holiday spirit.” Acknowledging your emotions instead of suppressing them can reduce stress and help you navigate the season with more ease.
3. Set Realistic Expectations
The holidays often bring up many expectations—whether it's about family gatherings, gift-giving, or even your own personal goals for the season. Set boundaries for what you can realistically do and how you want to spend your time.
Let go of perfectionism. Your holiday experience doesn’t need to look like a Hallmark movie. It’s okay if it doesn’t go perfectly, and it's okay to take a step back when you need to recharge.
4. Give Yourself Permission to Rest
The holidays can often feel like a time to be constantly social, active, or productive. It’s essential to give yourself permission to step back and recharge when needed.
Prioritize self-care, whether that’s through a quiet day, a good book, a hot bath, or simply saying no to an invitation if you’re feeling drained. Giving yourself permission to rest can help manage stress and allow you to engage with the season more mindfully.
5. Acknowledge the Ups and Downs
Emotional shifts during the holidays are common. You might feel excited about certain events or traditions but also stressed about family dynamics or financial pressures.
Allow yourself to experience both the highs and the lows, and remember that you don’t need to fix everything. Sometimes just acknowledging that emotions ebb and flow can bring a sense of relief.
6. Find Meaning Beyond the Season's Expectations
If the commercialized aspects of the holidays feel overwhelming or disconnected from what truly matters to you, try focusing on what you find meaningful during the season.
It could be connecting with loved ones, giving back to your community, or simply appreciating the little moments of joy that arise naturally.
7. Develop Mindfulness and Grounding Practices
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed, practicing mindfulness techniques like deep breathing, meditation, or grounding exercises can help you stay present and calm.
Try taking short moments during the day to check in with yourself—acknowledge how you feel, focus on your breath, and remind yourself that you’re doing the best you can.
8. Seek Support When Needed
If you find yourself struggling, it’s okay to reach out for support, whether that’s through talking to a friend, family member, or a therapist. Sometimes just sharing how you’re feeling with someone who listens non-judgmentally can help relieve stress and validate your experience.
9. Embrace Flexibility
Be open to shifting your plans and expectations as your emotional needs change. If you planned a festive activity but are feeling overwhelmed, give yourself permission to modify the plan, even if it’s last-minute. It could be something as simple as turning down an invite or opting for a quieter way to celebrate.
By allowing yourself to be where you are emotionally, validating your feelings, and letting go of the "shoulds," you can create a more flexible and nourishing experience for yourself during the holidays. Ultimately, the season can be about embracing your version of joy, peace, and connection—without forcing it to look a certain way.
